Avoidance behaviors (not to be confused with Coping Mechanisms) are actions or habits people develop to escape, reduce, or manage distressing thoughts, feelings, memories, or situations—especially those linked to trauma or suppressed emotions (stored energy). When these emotions are not processed or expressed, they tend to accumulate, leading to more behaviors aimed at avoiding their awareness. As adults we might not always recognize our behaviors as avoidance, but they do serve to prevent discomfort, anxiety, or unwanted situations.

Some common avoidance behaviors that someone may, or may not notice within themselves:

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• Procrastination: Delaying tasks or decisions to avoid feeling overwhelmed or anxious. Sometimes experienced as “I have no time”, “I'll do that tomorrow”.

 

• Emotional Numbing: Suppressing feelings or avoiding emotional expression to sidestep vulnerability. Often associated with alcohol and drug abuse, vaping, energy drinks and even coffee to an extent. Using an external vise to avoid going internal.

 

• Ignoring or Avoiding Certain Topics: Steering clear of conversations or thoughts related to sensitive issues.

 

• Overworking: Staying busy with work or other activities to avoid facing personal problems or emotions.

 

• Selective Hearing or Reading: Ignoring or avoiding listening to certain information or feedback. At times subconsciously.

 

• Physical Avoidance: Steering clear of specific places, people, or situations that evoke discomfort.

 

• Distraction: Using devices, social media, TV, porn or other distractions to divert attention from difficult feelings or thoughts. Have you noticed yourself reaching for your phone when the ads come on tv?

 

• Substance Use: Using alcohol, drugs, or other substances to suppress or escape difficult emotions. This is a big one, with substances being so socially accepted it is an easy way out to avoid/numb our emotions.

 

• Perfectionism: Avoiding mistakes or failures by trying to control every detail.

 

• Withdrawal: Isolating oneself from social interactions to avoid confrontation or emotional discomfort.

 

• Denial: Refusing to acknowledge problems or feelings as a defense mechanism.

 

• Rationalization: Justifying or making excuses for behaviors or feelings to avoid admitting vulnerability. Deflecting the situation away from self.

 

• Avoidance of Self-Reflection: Staying busy or distracted rather than taking time to reflect or process feelings.

 

• Avoiding Eye Contact: To sidestep uncomfortable conversations or feelings of vulnerability.

 

• Minimizing Issues: Downplaying problems or feelings to avoid addressing their true impact.

 

• Over-Planning or Over-Preparing: Excessively preparing to delay, avoid failure, or the task completely.

 

• Refusing Help: Declining assistance or support despite needing it, to maintain independence or avoid feeling dependent.

 

• Over-Expressing or Over-Compensating: Acting excessively or overly confident to hide insecurities. Sometimes experienced as excessive ‘confidence’.

 

• Avoiding Decision-Making: Postponing choices to prevent the anxiety of potential consequences.

 

• Sleeping Too Much: Using sleep as a way to escape stressful or uncomfortable realities.

 

• Lack of Follow-Through: Starting projects or commitments but not completing them to avoid confrontation or failure.

 

Many of these behaviors can operate unconsciously, making them harder to recognize initially. Self-awareness, reflection, and Breathwork can help in identifying, addressing avoidance patterns, and transitioning them into coping mechanisms.